What is right?

What is wrong?

When does rightness stop and where does wrongness begin?

The tirade and chaos gave birth to these pointless questions. An “all out war” that I created, based on the principality of fairness, equality and brotherhood.

In the amateur football club that I am in now, I’m holding the Vice Chairman post. While it sounded nice, I only took pride in the privilege awarded to me and took it to myself to ensure that logic and justice prevails within the committee. But somehow, the Chairperson have greater plans along with Advisor (which I now understand that counted as a committee member) and that among the two of them, had already envisioned and decided on many of the future endeavors. But as you can imagined, the breakdown or rather, lack of, communication and discussion between the top two appointment holders can create tremendous misunderstandings and problems. And thus it did.

Interestingly, while I am trying to fight my perceived situation that the Chairman is making too many decision without the agreement of the committee majority; to preserve a status of equality and brotherhood – one that decisions are made as a collective than dictated by the one or two; I seemed as if I treaded into this grey area of duality, where I am both right and wrong at the same time.

And a simple stand for justice or point, turns into a seemingly “astonishing outburst” “out of the blue”. And my simple concern is misinterpreted as a massive over-reaction. Somehow, this exact emotion is not new. It happened during the breakdown of partnership in the early days of Joji, during a tumultuous relationship with an evil MNC, during a project with an undependable client – all of which, I experienced such unpleasant emotions, in the times of me making a stand.

So now, is making a stand “right” or “wrong”?

I do know keeping to one’s principle is “right”. But when thus principle is violated and thus forced into making a stand to ensure things are righted; unconcerning people involved or observing just look at this as an outburst of over-reaction.

I can’t help but feel down and disappointed with the complexity of human over-reliance/indulgence in our own realities. Not just with the bystanders, by myself as well. Within my reality, of my perception, my principles and my commitment – driving into a wall of “dun-cares” and “power user”.

I do pin it down to a poor leadership – one that a chair can allow the vice chair to be out of tune and out of the picture; but I also brushed it off as over zealousness, regardless on whose part.

Team work is easy when everyone works towards the same goal, with little or no boundaries of who is bigger than who, and who have more rights than who. However, I did not sign up to be ordered around.

I would probably just quit it.

Save the trouble, consolidate my resource and energy, and finally towards my own standard of happiness and fulfillment.