It might not seem like it… But I felt like I had been in a fight against a depressed mood/feeling for a very… very… very long time.

Its really hard to explain and put it together, given how I am also probably in more or less the more productive time of my life. I actively played football on a weekly basis, work out every week, at times, every other day. But things do not add up.

There is this constant drain or drag in my energy level everyday. I wake up tired, regardless how long I sleep. Even when I warmed up and feel more ready to work – I get tired twice or three time faster than my peers. (in contrary, I’m among the fitter ones among my peers physically).

I constantly try to fight the depressed feeling by eating comfort food, my weekly football, indulgent in doing game modding, caffeine and some cheap high from accomplishing some work – but it always default back to the down mood. It’s depressing….

Its a constant roller-coaster ride and everyday is an uphill fight.

Maybe its a lack of love in my life. The unbalance of it all is tipping the table over, every single time. Like a 4 leg table standing on 3.

I dun even have the mood to articulate myself properly…

Wait till I feel better then… =\